Thursday, April 25, 2013

TMI

If you're squeamish about discussion of the human body, do not proceed.

This morning, Micah joined the noble and holy Order of The Colonoscopy.
After some recent family events led him to get screened, he had his bowels examined. He began his laxative vigil, which was... probably as average an experience as you can expect after chugging 2 liters of moviprep- which, by the way, is the dumbest name ever for a prescription-grade laxative. I can see it now:
 
Pharmaceutical Guy: Hey, let's just call it "the explosive eliminator,... wait! I've got it! The Bowel Mover"
Other Pharmaceutical Guy: How about something a little simpler. And less gross. Like, "Colon Prep".
Pharmaceutical Guy: Okay, okay. Let's put the two together. Moving ...Prep... Moviprep!
Other Pharmaceutical Guy: That sounds like an overpriced box of candy that you get at the movie theater.
Pharmaceutical Guy: Perfect.
 
 
So, his Dad took him in this morning (He scheduled himself to arrive at 6:30. I refused to get Natalie up at that hour and then expect her to be managable in a waiting room) and he had a pretty clear colon. One little bity 5mm polyp (pictured in the first image below) that was removed and was not cancerous. Which is really obnoxious, since no polyps made it a preventative screening-no out of pocket cost. Instead, a 30 second snip means it will be billed as a surgery and we will have to pay the deductable plus 20%. Blah! It won't be unmanageably expensive, it's just annoying that Micah came so close to being fine and not having to pay anything.
I'm carefully considering which of these great shots will be the cover of our Christmas card this year...

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